


Bottle it up

by Samsangel_Gabrielsmoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha!Sam, Crying Gabriel, I think I need help, M/M, Mpreg, Omega!Gabriel, i honestly don't know where this came from, just read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:15:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5038918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samsangel_Gabrielsmoose/pseuds/Samsangel_Gabrielsmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel wants a baby. Sam doesn't. It's as simple as that, but it isn't. It's never that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is, or where it came from so just... Just bare that in mind...

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s been on birth control since he was fifteen. Or maybe it’s just an omega thing. Gabriel doesn’t know. But what he does know, is that he sure as hell wants a baby.  
It’s not a thing that’s always been there, this crazy little maternal longing. It’s only started recently, very recently. Now that he’s finally settled down and got himself a mate, and a house with a spare bedroom, it seems like the natural next step to take. That would be wonderful, of course. But it isn’t, because Sam doesn’t want a baby.  
Sam is Gabriel’s alpha, his mate, and the official love of his life. And he is perfect in every way, apart from this one little thing. Gabriel can’t remember a time when Sam hasn’t given him something that he wants. Apart from this.  
Sam doesn’t know that Gabriel wants a baby, because Gabriel hasn’t told him. He isn’t going to tell him, either. He’s going to carry on and ignore the stupid little longing feeling inside him because Sam’s happiness comes first, and it always will.  
Gabriel wants a baby. But he can’t afford to lose Sam.  
They talked about children the day after they finally bit the bullet and got mated. Gabriel mostly wanted to know if he needed to keep taking his birth control pills, but he also wanted to know because even then, the desire for a baby, for a family, was there. He remembers the conversation distinctly. He had his head pillowed on Sam’s chest and he could feel the soft vibrations of his voice.  
“I’ve never wanted kids, Gabe. I know some alphas are desperate to have a big family but I’ve never wanted that. You’re enough for me, I don’t need anything else.”  
Gabriel remembers being flattered at the time, and nuzzling into Sam’s chest.  
“You sure, Sammy? You’re not just saying that to boost my self-esteem?”  
Sam had laughed, and shaken his head. Gabriel remembers the feeling of Sam’s fingers, stroking through his hair.  
“No, Gabe. I’m serious. I don’t even like kids.”  
Gabriel had laughed, at the time, and agreed with Sam. He had tried to forget what he wanted. He didn’t need a baby, because he had Sam and Sam was the most important thing in the world.  
He kept taking his pills, and repressed his desire. He watched other omegas with their children and ignored the feeling of wistfulness that grew inside him every time. He went through his heats and told himself, even as his sub conscious screamed the opposite, I don’t need a baby, I don’t want a baby. Sam doesn’t want a baby, Sam is the most important thing.  
It hurt, of course. It hurt when he found out that Dean and Cas were having a baby of their own. He envied Dean more than anything but he kept the envy to himself and congratulated the two of them.  
Thankfully, Sam didn’t seem to notice his desire. But Dean did. When they were alone together, he placed his hand on Gabriel’s arm, and looked into his eyes.  
“You’ll get here eventually, you know. Sometimes these things take time. Keep trying.”  
Gabriel remembers how he smiled and shook his head, as easily as he could.  
“We’re not trying, Dean. I’m still taking the pill. Sam doesn’t want a baby.”  
Dean had looked at him sadly.  
“But you do.”  
And Gabriel had shrugged, the carefree mask slipping down as easily as it always had done.  
“I don’t mind. If Sam doesn’t want a family, that’s fine. We’ve got each other.”  
He can see the pity on Dean’s face as clear as daylight. 

 

Sam doesn’t want a baby, he thinks as he throws his birth control pills in the trash. But I do.  
What’s the worst Sam can do if he ends up pregnant? Throw him out? Make him get rid of the baby? Leave him?  
Worth it. Gabriel thinks, as his next heat comes and goes. Worth it.  
“I love you, Gabriel. I would do anything for you, anything in the world.”  
That’s what Sam told him, the night they mated. And this is Sam, kind, wonderful Sam. He wouldn’t leave Gabriel. He would never leave Gabriel.  
Would he?

 

Two weeks of morning sickness, and Sam is worried. Worried about Gabriel’s health, of course. He hasn’t suspected that he might be pregnant.  
Gabriel takes three tests, and three light blue pluses smile up at him.  
“I’m pregnant.”  
He says, and he’s trembling from head to foot.  
“How? You’re on birth control.”  
Sam doesn’t look angry. Not yet.  
“I don’t know.”  
It’s a lie. Gabriel hates lying to Sam but he wants this baby.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“What are you going to do about it?”  
I’mkeepingitI’mkeepingitI’mkeepingit  
“I don’t know.”  
“I thought we agreed, no children. I’m not good with kids, Gabe. I haven’t got enough time. You know that.”  
So your job is more important than me? Than your baby?  
“I know.”  
“Do you want to keep it?”  
Yes. Yes. Yes a thousand times.  
“Do you?”  
Yes, I do, of course I do.  
“Gabriel, answer me. Do you want to keep the baby?”  
Yes, but…  
“I’ll do whatever makes you happy, Sam.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THOSE COMMENTS WOW I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.
> 
> This wasn't meant to have a second chapter, but so many people responded I felt mean. So here it is.

They lie in bed together silently. Their breathing is regular and in time. They fix together perfectly like two puzzle pieces, Gabriel’s back pressed up against Sam’s chest. His hand settles reflexively against his own stomach, as if to protect the life growing in there. The life they made, together.

Sam is silent and still, his arm curled around Gabriel’s waist. His fingers twitch lightly, as though he is restless. Gabriel waits for him to speak. He has been waiting a week, for him to say anything, to even mention the baby. Their baby.  
Say something, Gabriel begs silently. Even if it’s only goodbye.

Minutes pass. Sam’s fingers twitch upwards and brush the soft skin of Gabriel’s stomach. His breath hitches and Gabriel waits on bated breath.

“Why didn’t you tell me you wanted this?”  
The words are so soft, Gabriel’s heart almost breaks. How can he answer? How can he tell Sam? He can’t make him understand.  
“I had no idea.”   
Sam sounds so sad, so scared. A tear trickles down Gabriel’s cheek.  
“If I’d known. We could’ve… I would’ve…”  
Gabriel will never know what Sam would have done. It’s too late now. He opens his mouth and his voice sounds so small, it scares him  
“I’m sorry Sam. I’m so sorry.”  
Gabriel feels Sam shake his head. He carries on anyway.  
“I wanted it so bad… I want it so bad… A little person who looks just like me and you. But you don’t want that, do you? And I can’t lose you Sam. I just can’t. Not even for this, not even for a baby. So if you don’t want it, then…”  
He trails off, because Sam is shaking. He’s shaking like a leaf and when Gabriel looks down he sees his hand hovering over his navel.  
“A-A little person… who looks just like me and you?”  
Sam’s voice is barely even a whisper now. Gabriel holds his breath.  
“I wish you’d told me. If I’d known, I would have thought about it. We could have talked about it. Why didn’t you ask me, Gabe?”  
Gabriel hides his face in shame. This is his fault, this mess. Sam must be feeling so betrayed.  
“You said you didn’t want this. I thought… I thought I had to choose between you and a baby. I thought you wouldn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t bare it if you left me Sammy. I need you so bad. So I just never said anything. I couldn’t risk losing you.”  
Sam listens silently and his arms tighten slightly around Gabriel’s shaking body.  
“I would never, never leave you Gabriel. Never. I love you more than life itself. And…”  
Sam hesitates and his hand comes to rest on top of Gabriel’s  
“I love our baby, too. We made this together. It’s part of us. Part of you. And I love you. All of you, always.”  
Gabriel can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. Sam squeezes his hand gently.  
“You want this? You want to keep our baby? You still want me?”

Sam nods and smiles, even though Gabriel can’t see him.  
“Always, angel. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make my day!!

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are appreciated! Was it as weird as it seemed to be to me??


End file.
